The balance (part 1)
The balance of emotion
A naive description of human being emotion can be divided into two state of mind, the good and the bad. We will call good emotions the one that gives you this feeling of happiness, joy, peace, completeness. The bad one gives you the feeling of anxiousness, stress, anger etc.
Does human being have those emotions impregnated in them since birth ?
If we go back in time, those emotions were used by Homo as a mean to survive. Hormonal and chemical reactions that triggered during periods of needs. Nowadays those emotions are affected by our moral values that differ in multiple categories for each individuals.
If we just reinforce the difference between the point of view, we just create more hate polarity. This polarity will separate the groups more and more, instead of trying to understand each other. We should instead unite in difference, breaking the scheme of this society where everything is put into a box, a society of segregation, between rich and poor, ugly and beauty, strong and weak.
It shouldn’t be put in a square boxes, but instead in a round mixer where everything cohabit in harmony. But how can this be achievable if not in an utopia. In my opinion, we need to go down into the individual to understand the society and work of a community. So the first step for a better society is the work on one self-consiousness and emotions.
Taking a look at the morals foundation in every human being Sanctity, Divinity, Authority, Liberty, Loyalty ... A set of predefined morality that all of us have more or less inside us. Dictated by the elephant in our mind, that is also known as instinct. Knowing and being aware of our moral foundation allow us to work on them, and not being blinded by them.
Don’t work on action and reaction system. But more on action, inner peace and questioning. It can also help you to “Love your enemies”. This also means don’t have any enemies. Instead, try to make them feel and understand what you want by compassion and peace. Developing this social intelligence (cf Robert Greene) can help us maintain balance and live in better harmony in the society.
If you listen and mix up with people’s opinions, without forcing anything on anyone, they will automatically follow the flow of your actions. They won’t feel attacked, and will be more willing to open up. You will then make them discover new taste and most importantly gain in compassion. Show them another view that they never could have imagine. Plant the seeds that will grow, and become a beautiful tree. Working on the roots and having a slow growth is more important than trying with force and have fast result.
View life for what it is. life as a journey that is sometimes exciting, sometime dangerous, very often uncertain.
In all important transaction in life, we have to take a leap in the dark. Act for the best, hope for the best and take what comes… If death ends all, we cannot meet death better. (James Fritzjames Stephen)
I believe this is all about balance, you cannot take a leap without starting from the ground. You cannot enjoy the beauty of love without experiencing loneliness. You cannot plan what is coming, otherwise life wouldn’t be excited.
This balance allows you to capture the beauty of the present time. Framing it in a perfect form, that will stay as a treasure on this Earth, long after we left this world.
The Balance of love
Love is powerful. It can make you act as if you are not yourself, or in the contrary unveil who you are. When you love someone, you want this person to be yours and only yours. That his or her darkest secret are only known from you, that you have the privilege in guiding, staying and knowing this person. This strong sense of attachment often degenerate and most of the time cross the limit between love and ego. How can we achieve pure simple love. Can love be one sided ? or are we obliged to have the love from two or more people ? How can we manage our love for someone without making it destroying us and our partner ?
Once more, Love, like the other emotions should not be the one controlling our actions and behavior. However, love and ego are so intrinsically connected that it is difficult to make the distinction.
But what is Ego. Ego is the image and personality that oneself gives to himself. Creating an illusion about his reality, keeping oneself away from the truth and liberty. Ego is powerful and give us the impression that we need to fight for him no matter what, if something tries to hurt him, we need to fight back. Driving our emotions and mind. We should be aware of him being present in us. But we should not let him drive, always remind him that we do not need him.
How can we know that the people we love are really the people that we love. We can also never expect the other partner to love us back as much as we love them. This is something we can not measure. But we can take love just as it comes, accepting the reality that your desire is not necessary the desire of the people around you. Finding the person that will keep up with your mind and desire is not common. In this journey, we will find all kind of “love” that are going to shape our own vision of this emotion. It will necessary change. But never stop believing in your own essence and what you think love is. Make your own definition of it, and keep it by your side.
First and foremost, this strong sense of love comes from our animal instinct of procreation. In order, for our gene to pass future generation and survive in this world, the human animal. The first two years of a relationship will give you this heavy feeling of needs and addiction, brought by the stimulation of our neurotransmitters. In my point of view, it is pass those two first year that we really start to discover and make the choice consciously to love someone or not. It is not a biological reaction anymore but a personal choice and involvement. Being in an intimate relationship with someone you are together rooted in the same mud. Opening yourself to the other and letting the other see you as you are. Stripping away of the coat that you wore around yourself and your personality. Trust and beliefs.
Believing in love is powerful that can also blind us in a wrong faith when we didn’t find the balance between our emotions and rationality. We always need to try and take a step back, observing our feeling and actions, being our own judge.
