Unexpected emotions
What I am feeling right now. . . The coming down was hard. Weird, since it’s not the norm to simply be with someone anymore. Everyone goes with everyone. There are no couples or marriage. Everything is done in the name of humanity and nothing is left randomly.
[…]
The day started as a normal day, but who would have thought that in year 3021 I could still have unexpected emotions. Knowing that they are mostly controlled by Them. Telling us in advance what to do in order to achieve the “best” experience possible using the most stable emotions. Making the most rational, logical decision for our well being. But now I start questioning, is my “well being” worth the sacrifice of those indescriptible emotions, is it worth the restraint that I feel deep in my heart. Is it worth living my life under control…
Of course, living like that, our emotion ranking wont take a toll and we will be able to keep our rank. So why do I feel this point in my heart that I still have a hard time to accept.
But again, the proofs are here. Life expectancy extended by a 100 years since the last 500. In what cost ? We had to continuously take strong mental drugs in order to keep us sane, stable and “productive”.
[…]
Is it productive of me to just look at her eyes. Thinking about nothing else. Staring at her for hours without getting bored. Just being here, at this moment with her.
Finding this feeling of connection and resonance with someone is strange. Like in quantum physics, when the spin of the atom enter in resonance with the correct frequencies they change direction all together. Finding this connection with her took me into another world, until coming back to the usual direction.
Waking up with her, was like waking up in a lucid dream. When you enter, you just rejoice the moment and atmosphere. Shaping together this dream without limit. Opening new doors for imagination and infinite power. The power of feeling alive while being in a dream. Creating a new reality. Not knowing anymore which one is more real.
Lying down besides her, sensing her body, her touch, her smell. Creating our own sparkling bubble. Building up a fireworks of emotion.
First the emotion of fear. The fear of losing, losing her and losing one mind in this turbulent spiral of emotion.
Second the emotion of euphoria. The euphoria of the present moment.
Third the emotion of vulnerability. The vulnerability of exposing my inner self.
Fourth, the indescriptible emotion. This emotion …
Fifth, is it normal to feel that… when she is only a machine ? Was it really an unexpected one ? Or the calculations were already made for me to feel like this ? I don’t know anymore.
[…]
Life, if that’s how we called it. Moves on. Another day. Maybe I should just keep going.
I injected my breakfast, got prepared and entered my visio-discus.
